Amnon Disgraces Tamar
January 27, 2023
Commentary
Absalom, one of David’s sons, had a beautiful sister named Tamar. Amnon, David’s firstborn son and Tamar’s half-brother, became obsessed with her (13:1–6). Frustrated and unable to have her, Amnon listened to the advice of his cousin Jonadab, who encouraged deception. He pretended to be sick and persuaded David to send Tamar to care for him. When Tamar brought him food, Amnon sent the servants away. Ignoring her desperate pleas, he overpowered her and raped her (13:7–14). This act was a serious crime in Israel. Sexual rela-tions between half-siblings were forbidden, and the loss of a young woman’s virginity brought lifelong shame. Tamar was completely innocent, yet she suffered the full weight of the violence done to her.
After the assault, Amnon’s desire turned into hatred (13:15–19). This revealed that what he felt before was not love, but lust. To make matters worse, Amnon drove Tamar away instead of accepting responsibility for his actions. According to the Law, he should have protected and cared for her, but he chose to reject her. Tamar tore her robe, placed ashes on her head, and lived in deep distress. Her dignity was stripped away, and her future was forever changed by Amnon’s sin.
When Absalom learned what had happened, he burned with anger and hatred toward Amnon (13:20). He took Tamar into his home and urged her to remain silent, choosing protection over justice. David also heard about the incident and was furious, yet he failed to carry out the justice required by God’s Law (13:21–22). His silence allowed sin to grow unchecked within his family and weakened moral leadership. This tragic story shows how unchecked de-sire, misuse of power, and failure to act justly can destroy lives and sow lasting division.
Application
When I see injustice or abuse, how do I respond? Do I stay silent because speaking feels hard? When I have influence, do I protect the weak or protect myself? Today I ask God to guard my heart, give me courage to act rightly, and help me choose truth, care, and justice in my daily relationships.
2 Samuel 13:1–22 (NET)
1 Now David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. In the course of time David’s son Amnon fell madly in love with her. 2 But Amnon became frustrated because he was so lovesick over his sister Tamar. For she was a virgin, and to Amnon it seemed out of the question to do anything to her.
3 Now Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimeah. Jonadab was a very crafty man. 4 He asked Amnon, “Why are you, the king’s son, so depressed every morning? Can’t you tell me?” So Amnon said to him, “I’m in love with Tamar the sister of my brother Absalom.” 5 Jonadab replied to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be sick. When your father comes in to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come in so she can fix some food for me. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I can watch. Then I will eat from her hand.’”
6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. When the king came in to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come in so she can make a couple of cakes in my sight. Then I will eat from her hand.”
7 So David sent Tamar to the house saying, “Please go to the house of Amnon your brother and prepare some food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to the house of Amnon her brother, who was lying down. She took the dough, kneaded it, made some cakes while he watched, and baked them. 9 But when she took the pan and set it before him, he refused to eat. Instead Amnon said, “Get everyone out of here!” So everyone left.
10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the cakes into the bedroom; then I will eat from your hand.” So Tamar took the cakes that she had prepared and brought them to her brother Amnon in the bedroom. 11 As she brought them to him to eat, he grabbed her and said to her, “Come on! Get in bed with me, my sister!”
12 But she said to him, “No, my brother! Don’t humiliate me! This just isn’t done in Israel! Don’t do this foolish thing! 13 How could I ever be rid of my humiliation? And you would be considered one of the fools in Israel! Just speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” 14 But he refused to listen to her. He overpowered her and humiliated her by raping her. 15 Then Amnon greatly despised her. His disdain toward her surpassed the love he had previously felt toward her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and leave!”
16 But she said to him, “No I won’t, for sending me away now would be worse than what you did to me earlier!” But he refused to listen to her. 17 He called his personal attendant and said to him, “Take this woman out of my sight and lock the door behind her!” 18 (Now she was wearing a long robe, for this is what the king’s virgin daughters used to wear.) So Amnon’s attendant removed her and bolted the door behind her. 19 Then Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went on her way, wailing as she went.
20 Her brother Absalom said to her, “Was Amnon your brother with you? Now be quiet, my sister. He is your brother. Don’t take it so seriously!” Tamar, devastated, lived in the house of her brother Absalom.
21 Now King David heard about all these things and was very angry. 22 But Absalom said nothing to Amnon, either bad or good, yet Absalom hated Amnon because he had humiliated his sister Tamar.
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