Counsel for Christian Marriage & Divorce

I Corinthians 7:6–11
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In yesterday’s passage, Paul laid out for us God’s plan for sex: If you are single, save sex for marriage (v. 1). If you are married, have sex exclusively with your spouse of the opposite sex (v. 2). The norm is for married couples to not abstain from (or deprive each other of) sexual relations (vv. 3-4). However, it is appropriate for married couples to take an agreed upon break to focus on spiritual matters, followed by a return to the norm (v. 5). 

Verse 6 is referring us back to verse 5. Paul wanted to make it clear that he was providing concession (giving permission), not a command to abstain from sex for an agreed upon amount of time. Nowhere in his writings did Paul ever command abstinence from marital sex. He viewed regular sex as the norm for married couples. We cannot be sure whether Paul was ever married or not, but he clearly was not married at the time of this writing (v. 8). Paul saw the advantages to remaining single (v. 7-8; 32-35), but he also recommended marriage as preferable to “burning with passion” (v. 9). Paul was blessed with the gift of celibacy, a God enabled freedom from the desire or need for sexual fulfillment. Whilst recognizing the value of this gift Paul also understood that it was the exception, not the norm (v. 7). 

Next, Paul pointed his readers to the highest authority possible, Christ Jesus himself, regarding a difficult topic: Divorce (vv. 10-11). Jesus taught that “hard heartedness” was the real cause of divorce (Matthew 5:31-32 & 19:1-12). Instead, we are to be tenderhearted and forgiving towards one another, treating them the way God treats us (Eph. 4:32). It’s out of character, therefore, for a true follower of Christ to be the one instigating the divorce. Wives are commanded not to separate from their husbands, but if they must, they are to remain unmarried or else be reconciled to their husbands (v. 11a). Husbands are likewise commanded not to divorce their wives (v. 11b). How can we as Christians provide a model of God honoring, Spirit empowered reconciliation for the unsaved world to see if we cannot reconcile with our own spouses? We cannot.

Application

The Lord has said that I am to be content in whatever situation I find myself in. I am so thankful for the wonderful wife and family he has given me. Thank you, Lord!